Business Pitch : You Dance On My Grave!

Last week our nations airwaves were abuzz with the news that a man, in an act of protest, had danced on former Taoiseach Charles Haughey’s grave.

The man, Vincent Kearney, staged the jig as the finale of a small video he had made in which he lambasts the Irish government’s scheme to avoid economic doom.

The dancing was really a gimmick to draw attention to his video, as other wise I don’t think many people who have watched the preceding 5 or so minutes. Of course, this got the nation in a fluster. Personally I don’t think it was a nice thing to do, because baring radiation fallout from a passing meteorite, Haughey can’t come back to defend his tomb.

It got me thinking however. I myself would have no problem with someone having a wee boogie on my grave. Being vaguely hippie-ish, I entertain notions of being buried naked with a tree planted on top of me. That sort of thing. It occurred to me that I might even want people to dance on my grave. I’m dead, I might as well let people have a bop.

So I have come up with the Deadman Disco©. A team of engineers will install a small dance floor onto your burial site. The dance floor will come with some rotating spot lights and a disco ball, and a series of tiles that will light up as revellers step on them (ala Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” video).

For an additional premium you can go for the Delux Deadman Disco Experience, wherein we will install a small jukebox into the headstone allowing dancers to choose from a number of tracks to get their boogie on to. For the full nite-club experience, potential dancers will have to stuff €13 into the head-stone, be rewarded with a watered-down pint and through a small funnel a small bit of vomit will be sprayed onto your shoes.

I am preparing my pitch for Dragon’s Den right now.

(Thanks to @CaesarLopez for the artwork)