Saint Valentines Day

“It is self-contradictory when a community says to a person, “You must be free,” or when members of a family say to each other, “You must love me; it’s your duty.” What a bunch of rot! If you say to your wife, “Darling, do you really love me?” and she replies, “I’m trying my very best to do so,” that will not be the answer you wanted. You wanted her to say, “Darling, I can’t help loving you. I love you so much I could eat your.” You do not want her to have to try to love you, and yet that is the burden you lay on people when you demand their love. In almost every marriage ceremony it is said that you must love your spouse. In Christianity it is said, “Thou shalt love the Lord, they God” and “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” These are all double binds. Anybody who lives under the dominance of a double bind is living in a state of chronic frustration. He is devoting his life to solving a problem that is meaningless and nonsensical precisely because it has no solution.”

Alan Watts – Buddhism as Dialogue